USC vs. Notre Dame

So here I am. Back on the beautiful USC campus, waiting for the band (which plays in 4 hours). The difference from my normal game day routine? I have my laptop, so I can actually write this on-site. Red and yellow is dripping from every corner of campus, the air smells of beer and roasting hot dogs, and the conversations reverberate at a low hum. Damien Rice plays in my ear and I feel sleepy. I can't wait for the band to get here, to play Tusk for me. :)

School is almost over. I only have two more weeks....one week of classes, then a week of finals. Then Christmas break. Next week is going to be crazy. On top of my regular classes and tutoring sessions, I have two handbell concerts, a final, an oral presentation, a study session to lead, and other wrap-up stuff. Tuesday night is going to be so fun, though. Wind Ensemble concert, Christmas Tree Lane, yay.... :)

I can't wait for Christmas break. I am burned out, and TIRED. School has lost its sparkle for me this semester. I need to recharge. Almost. therreeeee.......

Bucket

So Sara inspired me to write this list. It's 25 things to do before I turn 25. Which gives me exactly 6 years to do them. So here they are, in no particular order other than what I thought of them in.

1. Live out my ideals
2. Lose weight/get in shape
3. Travel
4. Learn to cook
5. Learn to enjoy cleaning
6. Get a good self-esteem
7. Find my life's purpose
8. Learn how to dress/look classy
9. Write a novel
10. Grow my hair out
11. Make friends with all my sisters
12. Read my Bible/pray every day (and you'll grow, grow, grow)
13. Learn basic car maintenance
14. Fall in love (at this point, I start to sound like to A Walk to Remember and that is not okay. So pretend I don't)
15. Move out of California
16. Kiss in the rain
17. Have a white Christmas
18. Cut back on stuff
19. Go hiking
20. Go camping on the beach
21. Get a real tan
22. Get involved in a children's ministry
23. Feel good in a bikini
24. Have clear skin
25. Learn to decorate cheaply

hello, this is me

1. Do you like blue cheese? I like it in salad dressing.
2. Have you ever smoked a cigarette? No. Someday I want to. Just for the experience.
3. Do you own a gun? My dad does. Does that count?
4. What flavor do you add to your drink at Sonic? I have no idea. I’ve never bought a drink other than a shake at Sonic.
5. Do you get nervous before doctor appointments? Not really. I’ve only had about three doctor’s appointments in my whole life. Other than baby checkups, of course.
6.What do you think of hot dogs? I like them a lot. With ketchup. And onions. On a bun.
7. Favorite Christmas Song? O goodness. I love Christmas music. O come O come Emmanuel.
8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? Milk. Or coffee.
9. Can you do push ups? Girl pushups.
10.What is your favorite movie? You Can’t Take It With You.
11. What's your favorite piece of jewelry? My nose ring. Ha.
12. Favorite hobby? Hanging with friends/baking with friends/playing ultimate frisbee.
13. Do you like your life? Not right now.
14. Do you have A.D.D.? No. Hey, look, something shiny!
15. What's one trait that you hate about yourself? My pride.
16 Middle name? JaneAnne
19. Name 3 drinks you drink regularly? Dr. Pepper, coffee, water
20. Current worry right now? Failing.
21. Current hate right now? I hate school. And life.
22. Favorite place to be? In a coffee shop with a cup of coffee on my laptop people watching or talking.
23. How did you bring in the New Year? At the bomb shelter in buena park
24. Where would you like to go? Washington
25. name three people that will complete this? Lora. Her friend who posted it in the first place. And me.
27. What color shirt are you wearing? Gray and orange.
28. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets? Good question....if I was a prostitute
.29. Can you whistle? Maybe. If I’m lucky.
31. Would you be a pirate? Heck yes.
32. What songs do you sing in the shower? I don’t usually sing in the shower because I share a bathroom with six other girls and they might think I’m weird.
33. Favorite girl's name? Norah
34. Favorite boy's name? Robin
35. What's in your pocket right now? Air.
36. Last thing that made you laugh? My sister’s telling of Seth’s handle bar mustache.
38. Worst injury you've ever had? I broke my nose. And once I threw out my back. That hurt too.
39. Do you love where you live? I love FPU. I don’t love Fresno. And I don’t love Corona either.
40. How many TVs do you have in your home? 2
41.Who is your loudest friend? Alli-Kay
42.How many pets do you have? One. Mr. Knightley.
43. Fave ice cream flavor? Cookie dough or mint. It’s a toss-up
44, where are you? In my dorm’s living area.
45.What is your favorite book? A tree Grows in brooklyn
46. What is your favorite candy? Chocolate. Anything chocolate.
47. What is your favorite sports team? USC football or Ducks
48. What song do you want played at your funeral? I don’t really know any good death songs. I know what I want played at my wedding though.
49. What were you doing 12 AM last night? Hanging out with lora and jenny and jeremy.
50. What was the first thing(s) you thought of when you woke up this morning? Why am i in lora’s bed?

From the Mouth of Babes...

Today, my friend Amy turned to me and said, "Did you know that Alaska is part of the United States?" And yes, she was serious. I thought I might die laughing.

Coast

We drove to the coast last night. The signs read: Pismo--140 miles. It was 11 pm. I drove on the way there, weaving my way through unfamiliar roads and midnight countryside. Lora and Jenny and I talked. We talked about boys, we talked about love, we talked about life. We listened to Ben Folds and Michelle Branch. The lines on the road glistened in my headlights, and the dark unknown whizzed by. Semis lay slumbering by the side of the road, their engines silent and their cabs dark. I glanced out of the driver's window, and saw stars. Real stars, dotting the sky like fresh snow. We drove through the fog and emerged at the beach. I drove slowly through the small town, trespassing on its silent sleep. Shops were closed, the streets deserted--it was 2 am. There was the beach. And there were the cops--of course the beach was closed. We kept driving and found it--our own little private beach, complete with spooky noises, crashing waves, and heaps of kelp tossed on the shore. It was cold; the sand stuck to our feet damply; we were glorious. Stress, tension left in my shoulders by school and life and home melted away into the crisp starry night and joined the crashing waves in their tumbling freefall. We sat by the drainage pipe and talked, but we mostly just listened. Listened to the crash of the breakers, the whisper of tide at the shoreline, and the peace that lingered in the air like a perfume. There!--a shooting star. And another. We left that spot at 3 and Lora took over the driver's seat. Then we hit fog; thick, soupy fog that obstructed the road and fogged our windows up. Using good sense and a defroster, jenny and I helped Lora steer off the road and jenny took over. The icy air rushed in the car as Jenny drove. Finally the temperature was regulated(no more foggy windows) and the fog lifted. We drove through Santa Margarita and found the only gas station there. No way were we stopping there. We kept driving, ignoring the gas gauge in good faith that Atascadero was coming soon. We made it, stopping only for gas, an energy drink, and a bathroom break. And we were off, Lora back in the driver's seat. We drove, not talking, just listening to the music. And then--"I can't see the lines anymore. They're all blurring together." I was back in the driver's seat. Jenny slept in the back seat and Lora and I talked--about boys, love, life. Lora fell asleep, I tried not to. And here was Fresno and school. It was 6 am, and at that moment, life was perfect.

Touche

So, Sara made a good point on my last post. She pointed out that the reason I might feel like I have a better spiritual life at home is because that's where I've been the most comfortable spiritually. I think she's right. I think that maybe it's just that my spiritual life sucks and I need to improve it. It's not school, it's me. Who am I to put the blame on school? I need to take personal responsibility for my relationship with God, regardless of where I am. Wow, it's difficult having an epiphany. Then I actually feel guilty and sort of convicted. :) Now, where to start? I've been saying this for years, but I should actually organize my day so that I have time to spend a little quiet time with the Bible and prayer. I can think up a million lame excuses, but at the end of the day, that's exactly what they are--just lame excuses. I really like the illustration that I've heard before of your heart being Christ's home. I've let Him in the door, but now he's just sitting in the living room while I run around the house, busy in my own life and my own problems. I don't always like the cute little analogies of "Jesus is in your heart/He's waiting for you to notice Him/hello, I am cute, warm fuzzy Christianity," but I do like that one. He is waiting for me to notice Him, to come and be sheltered from the world in His arms. He loves me. And that's amazing.

What a friend we have in Jesus
All our sins and griefs to bear
What a privilege to carry
Everything to God in prayer
Oh what peace we often forfeit
Oh what needless pain we bear
All because we do not carry
Everything to God in prayer

P.S. I remembered that whole verse by heart. No big deal.

Home Sweet School

I am home for the weekend. Actually, I had a four day weekend for midterm break, so I've been home. I'm going back home tomorrow. I am so divided between these two homes. My home has my family, no matter how lousy tonight was (mom, don't be offended, I can tell you what was wrong), and I am always safe there. But at schoolhome, I have my close friends, I have challenges that stretch and grow me, and I have my own independent life. But at home I have relationships that I need to work on that I don't have energy or motivation to improve. But at school I have a lack of a spiritual life that makes me sad every time I think about it. I love both, and yet I can't stand both. I want to run away. I'm a coward.