Duel of the Moods

So this post will be divided up into two sections: How I felt yesterday and how I feel today.

How I felt yesterday:

I'm not really sure what I'm doing. I feel like I'm missing something huge and important and I'm not sure if it's school-related or life. I have so many little regrets that maybe haven't affected my life in the big picture, but have really caused me to question now if my life would have been different. Maybe if I had started that paper a month ago, I wouldn't be stressing about it now. Maybe if I had gotten a job last summer or even last school year, I would have some money now. Maybe if I had been a little more outgoing at the beginning of the year, I would have had more friends. Maybe if I had taken a risk and talked to him, he would have liked me back. Maybe if I hadn't been so gullible, I wouldn't have been deceived and hurt. Maybe if I had written that last paper for Physical Science, I could have had an A instead of a B. Maybe if I hadn't said that one thing in my RA interview, I would have had my "dream job." Maybe if I hadn't popped that zit last night, I wouldn't have had this gross red spot on my face today................and on and on. I just feel like I'm missing something. I feel like the clock's winding down on something and I feel panicked about getting that thing done. Don't ask me what it is. Maybe I'm going to die soon. I don't want to die. Tired....

How I feel today:

Life is exciting and I'm so looking forward to next year and all it brings: New amazing classes, a good job, a tutoring job, new friends, new experiences! And I'm so stoked that Jenny and I have officially decided to backpack across Europe after we graduate. We're serious about it and we've started making general plans which excites me so much!

There's a lot more for yesterday, but don't be deceived. I feel much higher on the happy side today than I felt on the whatever side yesterday. Although, I do keep flipflopping back and forth between these emotions, right now, for the most part, I'm staying on the happy side.

Now if only people would come up to my floor and talk to me so I don't feel so lonely...=)