Hello. I don't know who you are, or what your name is. I do know you play tennis here and that you have blond hair. But I would just like to say, I saw you the other day and you really should stop.
I was driving by with some friends and I saw you, in the middle of the day (in broad daylight, no less) PEEING! by the side of the road right in front of the old person's home. Even if it hadn't traumatized me, think of all the damage that you could have done the senior citizens! There was no call for you to whip it out right there by the tree when there were perfectly good bathrooms all around campus. Or at least find a more private spot.
I could have forgiven you for that, but then I drove by a couple days later with the same friend and I saw you taking your pants off in the exact same spot, just across the street. I definitely saw you in your boxers and I did not want to see that. If I wanted to see a man in his boxers, I would go to the store and go to the men's underwear aisle to look at the underwear packs. But that's way too much work and it's more than just a little weird, so I would just like to say. Keep your clothes on in public!
So keep it in and keep them on.
Disgustedly,
Abby
Friday, January 30, 2009
Monday, January 26, 2009
Dear Mailbox,
So often, you are empty. I turn the dial just right and pull your little metal door open. I peek inside, my heart trembling in anticipation, and I am disappointed. The shiny cold chasm of your inside yawns open, affording only the view of other boxes full of letters and magazines. I even reach my hand in, running my fingers along the edges of you, hoping that I missed something. But no, you are always empty, sad, alone.
But not today. Today was a glorious day. When I opened you, a long white envelope was waiting. You seemed friendly and happy to be giving me such a rare gift. I drew out the envelope and opened it. And there, inside, lay a check! A check for more money than I expected! I don't know where it came from or why it even came at all, but thank you, Mailbox, for brightening my day.
But not today. Today was a glorious day. When I opened you, a long white envelope was waiting. You seemed friendly and happy to be giving me such a rare gift. I drew out the envelope and opened it. And there, inside, lay a check! A check for more money than I expected! I don't know where it came from or why it even came at all, but thank you, Mailbox, for brightening my day.
Friday, January 23, 2009
Dear School,
I'm not a big fan of you right now. I know, I know, I used to be so enamored with you. But that was before I was mature, before I had developed into a more well-rounded human being. You're really just a lot of work. Sometimes we really get along and I enjoy being with you, but lately you've been distant and out of touch. I go through the motions with you, but the joy and the fire is gone. And you are really expensive, too. I think we need some time apart, but everyone is pressuring us to stay together, so I guess I'll just have to make it through this rough patch. You really are the best fit for me and we are good for each other. But I have to warn you that we will be breaking up fairly soon. Just three more semesters and I'll be gone. So thanks for the memories, even if they weren't so great.
Fondly,
Abby
Fondly,
Abby
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Dear God,
Hello. We haven't talked in a while. I'm pretty sure that's my fault. I've been busy, you know. Yeah, that's a terrible excuse--one that I should never use but always do. I've been feeling the pressure from you, though. You keep calling; you keep knocking. Sometimes I want you to stop pursuing me. It hurts, it puts me in vulnerable situations where I don't want to be. And it's embarrassing, this wealth of love that you're trying to give me. I'm not sure if I would know what to do with all of it. I don't know if you just haven't realized this, but I'm really not worth pursuing. Really, there's better people out there. Why don't you just give up on me? All I do is hurt you and myself. But, please please don't give up on me. Deep down, you're what I want the most. I am just so confused on how to get to that place where it's just you and me. The depth of which you love me is overwhelming and glorious and breathtaking. I want you to take over my life, to bring me a better plan than I have for myself, but I'm scared. I'm scared to death that I will have to lose control over this tiny plot of land I call life and will have nothing less to call my own. But that is what you've called me to. You've called me to give up everything for you, for the sake of your kingdom. I wish this wouldn't be so hard. You will bring me through this for a purpose, to refine me in your hot, consuming fire.
You know me. You know my thoughts, my intentions, my fears, my weaknesses. And yet you are there when I wake every morning. You greet me with a smile and infinite patience. You love me. And I am ashamed.
Love, Abby
You know me. You know my thoughts, my intentions, my fears, my weaknesses. And yet you are there when I wake every morning. You greet me with a smile and infinite patience. You love me. And I am ashamed.
Love, Abby
Friday, January 16, 2009
I Know My Alphabet
A is for age: 19.
B is for beer of choice: I don't choose to drink beer. It's pretty much disgusting.
C is for career right now: I have no career as of now and I have no idea what it will be.
D is for your dog's name: I have no dog. She is dead. But her name was Alicia.
E is for essential item you use every day: my toothbrush.
F is for favorite TV shows: Arrested development, the office, one tree hill
G is for favorite game: hockey :)
H is for hometown: Corona
I is for instruments you play: piano and heartstrings
J is for favorite juice: orange peach mango
K is for whose butt you'd like to kick: hm. interesting.
L is for last place you ate: the caf. blegh.
M is for marriage: it is? oh, okay.
N is for your middle name: JaneAnne
O is for overnight hospital stay: I've never done that.
P is for people you were with today: Wow. too many to remember and count actually.
Q is for quote: "Hey, they all start with A! Oh wait, it's alphabetical. Never mind. Just ignore my stupidity."
R is for biggest regret: I don't really have one.
S is for sport: I like to play sports. I also like to watch them. Frisbee, hockey, football....all good.
T is for time you woke up today: 7:15.
U is for underwear you have on now: AE. Polka dots. Cute.
V is for vegetable you love: squash actually.
W is for worst habits: not being vulnerable and opening up to other people. and being depressive.
X is for xrays you've had: Nada.
Y is for something yummy you've eaten today: coffee chocolate chip pancakes. :)
Z is for zodiac sign: scorpio.
B is for beer of choice: I don't choose to drink beer. It's pretty much disgusting.
C is for career right now: I have no career as of now and I have no idea what it will be.
D is for your dog's name: I have no dog. She is dead. But her name was Alicia.
E is for essential item you use every day: my toothbrush.
F is for favorite TV shows: Arrested development, the office, one tree hill
G is for favorite game: hockey :)
H is for hometown: Corona
I is for instruments you play: piano and heartstrings
J is for favorite juice: orange peach mango
K is for whose butt you'd like to kick: hm. interesting.
L is for last place you ate: the caf. blegh.
M is for marriage: it is? oh, okay.
N is for your middle name: JaneAnne
O is for overnight hospital stay: I've never done that.
P is for people you were with today: Wow. too many to remember and count actually.
Q is for quote: "Hey, they all start with A! Oh wait, it's alphabetical. Never mind. Just ignore my stupidity."
R is for biggest regret: I don't really have one.
S is for sport: I like to play sports. I also like to watch them. Frisbee, hockey, football....all good.
T is for time you woke up today: 7:15.
U is for underwear you have on now: AE. Polka dots. Cute.
V is for vegetable you love: squash actually.
W is for worst habits: not being vulnerable and opening up to other people. and being depressive.
X is for xrays you've had: Nada.
Y is for something yummy you've eaten today: coffee chocolate chip pancakes. :)
Z is for zodiac sign: scorpio.
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
No, I was not tagged
But I'm going to list 25 random things about myself anyway.
1. I actually don't really like blogging all that much. I like the idea of it, but I'm terrible at actually keeping it updated. I figured out that the reason for this is because I cringe at the idea of actually putting anything remotely personal on the internet for everyone to read and I know that some of the issues that I would be trying to vent about or whatever would involve in some way or another people that read my blog. So now I just keep it short and sweet.
2. My mom is one of my best friends ever. Maybe it's lame to have your mom as your best friend, but I don't really care. She's a friend that actually cares about me and makes sacrifices for me. And we can talk about *almost* anything.
3. I have been dying to go to the zoo for over a year now. I found out, after we had stopped going, that I really really like the zoo. And I think I would appreciate it more now that I'm older. Except, of course, for the petting zoo. I hate petting zoos.
4. I keep looking up places to transfer. Maybe I'm just a flake, maybe I'm completely unmotivated, but part of me just really wants to get out of California. Of course, there are reasons behind that too, but see #1 as far as personal things go. :) I am restless. I want to wander and be free.
5. I want to live on a large piece of land in a old house. This land would preferrably have a small stream, some woods, open land on which to ride quads on, a place to have a garden, large trees to hang rope swings, and a house big enough to hold a lot of children.
6. My two dream jobs after graduating college? Nanny and assistant to a wedding planner. Lofty dreams, I know.
7. I hate being a messy person. I can't help being messy, but then it makes me depressed and tired. So I try to not be messy. And then I'm messy again. It's a vicious cycle.
8. I thirst for adventure. I want so badly to drop out of school and live free and unhindered with a best friend or two for a couple years and then settle down. But with freedom in my blood, who knows whether I'd ever be able to calm down again?
9. I feel guilty often. Most often for things I can't control and for reasons I can't explain. If someone is angry or upset, I feel guilty. If something doesn't go right for someone, I feel guilty. I think it's some sort of responsibility complex, but all I know is that it's exhausting.
10. I can't make small talk for the life of me. I am terrible at it. If I could just jump into a serious conversation with someone about life and related things, then I would be okay. But it's this meaningless chatter that makes me awkward and uncomfortable.
11. I really miss playing sports now that I'm in college.
12. I wish Joanna lived in California and not Illinois. I miss her a lot.
13. I have grand plans for my life and for my summer and I really really want them to work out. It might make my life feel a little more in place than it has been feeling.
14. I really need to let God take control of my life. And actually take control, not just watch me screw everything up.
15. I should be less emo-sounding. Because I'm really not emo. :) See?
16. I like to think I have good fashion sense. I give fashion advice to my sisters and to some of my friends. And yet, for some reason, I have never made it on America's Next Top Model. Weird.
17. I don't have nearly as low of self-esteem as I pretend to. I like the way I look. I just like to say that I think I'm ugly so I don't sound egotistical. But here I am, coming out of the self-deprecating closet, saying, "I like myself. And I mean that in the most humble way possible."
18. I really want a baby. I know I have to wait for a husband and all that, and don't worry, I'm not going to be going around stealing anybody's baby, but I want a baby. Just not right now while I'm school. So I guess I don't really want one right now, but I will say that I'm super excited for when I can actually have one of my own.
19. I think it would tons of fun to open up a small cafe/bakery someday. Probably more work than I expect, but the idea is fun. Right?
20. I. Love. Christmas. I love Christmas more than any other holiday. Except I don't really care that much about the day. I just love the season. The trees, the lights, the eggnog, the holiday spirit, I am in love with it all. I don't love the consumerism, the spending, the greediness. I plan on changing that for me and my family.
21. I can talk a lot. And really fast.
22. If I could be anyone else in the entire world, I would be Anne of Green Gables. I love those books and those movies. Favorites for sure.
23. I don't really like religion or church right now. I love God and Jesus and I'm really trying to further my relationship with Him and live my life as His disciple, but church and religion? Not so great for me right now.
24. I never wear jewelry. I don't really like it. And I always forget. And then if I do have a piece that I like, it's usually cheap and turns my skin green. So I just never wear jewelry. It's part of my life plan that involves simplifying myself. Now I wear way less makeup, no jewelry, and just scrunch my hair and go. It's much faster and easier, trust me.
25. Someday, I want to write a novel. I feel like if I got a stellar story line to just fall into my lap, I'd have a much easier time of it. But that hasn't happened, so here I am. Just writing little lists on my blog and dreaming of better days.
1. I actually don't really like blogging all that much. I like the idea of it, but I'm terrible at actually keeping it updated. I figured out that the reason for this is because I cringe at the idea of actually putting anything remotely personal on the internet for everyone to read and I know that some of the issues that I would be trying to vent about or whatever would involve in some way or another people that read my blog. So now I just keep it short and sweet.
2. My mom is one of my best friends ever. Maybe it's lame to have your mom as your best friend, but I don't really care. She's a friend that actually cares about me and makes sacrifices for me. And we can talk about *almost* anything.
3. I have been dying to go to the zoo for over a year now. I found out, after we had stopped going, that I really really like the zoo. And I think I would appreciate it more now that I'm older. Except, of course, for the petting zoo. I hate petting zoos.
4. I keep looking up places to transfer. Maybe I'm just a flake, maybe I'm completely unmotivated, but part of me just really wants to get out of California. Of course, there are reasons behind that too, but see #1 as far as personal things go. :) I am restless. I want to wander and be free.
5. I want to live on a large piece of land in a old house. This land would preferrably have a small stream, some woods, open land on which to ride quads on, a place to have a garden, large trees to hang rope swings, and a house big enough to hold a lot of children.
6. My two dream jobs after graduating college? Nanny and assistant to a wedding planner. Lofty dreams, I know.
7. I hate being a messy person. I can't help being messy, but then it makes me depressed and tired. So I try to not be messy. And then I'm messy again. It's a vicious cycle.
8. I thirst for adventure. I want so badly to drop out of school and live free and unhindered with a best friend or two for a couple years and then settle down. But with freedom in my blood, who knows whether I'd ever be able to calm down again?
9. I feel guilty often. Most often for things I can't control and for reasons I can't explain. If someone is angry or upset, I feel guilty. If something doesn't go right for someone, I feel guilty. I think it's some sort of responsibility complex, but all I know is that it's exhausting.
10. I can't make small talk for the life of me. I am terrible at it. If I could just jump into a serious conversation with someone about life and related things, then I would be okay. But it's this meaningless chatter that makes me awkward and uncomfortable.
11. I really miss playing sports now that I'm in college.
12. I wish Joanna lived in California and not Illinois. I miss her a lot.
13. I have grand plans for my life and for my summer and I really really want them to work out. It might make my life feel a little more in place than it has been feeling.
14. I really need to let God take control of my life. And actually take control, not just watch me screw everything up.
15. I should be less emo-sounding. Because I'm really not emo. :) See?
16. I like to think I have good fashion sense. I give fashion advice to my sisters and to some of my friends. And yet, for some reason, I have never made it on America's Next Top Model. Weird.
17. I don't have nearly as low of self-esteem as I pretend to. I like the way I look. I just like to say that I think I'm ugly so I don't sound egotistical. But here I am, coming out of the self-deprecating closet, saying, "I like myself. And I mean that in the most humble way possible."
18. I really want a baby. I know I have to wait for a husband and all that, and don't worry, I'm not going to be going around stealing anybody's baby, but I want a baby. Just not right now while I'm school. So I guess I don't really want one right now, but I will say that I'm super excited for when I can actually have one of my own.
19. I think it would tons of fun to open up a small cafe/bakery someday. Probably more work than I expect, but the idea is fun. Right?
20. I. Love. Christmas. I love Christmas more than any other holiday. Except I don't really care that much about the day. I just love the season. The trees, the lights, the eggnog, the holiday spirit, I am in love with it all. I don't love the consumerism, the spending, the greediness. I plan on changing that for me and my family.
21. I can talk a lot. And really fast.
22. If I could be anyone else in the entire world, I would be Anne of Green Gables. I love those books and those movies. Favorites for sure.
23. I don't really like religion or church right now. I love God and Jesus and I'm really trying to further my relationship with Him and live my life as His disciple, but church and religion? Not so great for me right now.
24. I never wear jewelry. I don't really like it. And I always forget. And then if I do have a piece that I like, it's usually cheap and turns my skin green. So I just never wear jewelry. It's part of my life plan that involves simplifying myself. Now I wear way less makeup, no jewelry, and just scrunch my hair and go. It's much faster and easier, trust me.
25. Someday, I want to write a novel. I feel like if I got a stellar story line to just fall into my lap, I'd have a much easier time of it. But that hasn't happened, so here I am. Just writing little lists on my blog and dreaming of better days.
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