A Peace

The other day, I told God, "I really want to be closer to You. It's just really hard for me to remember to read Your Word and to communicate with You. Will you help me remember?"

I don't think He rolled His eyes and thought, "Gosh, would this girl just learn to do this by herself for once?"

I think He smiled and said, "Daughter, I would love to."

Hellogoodbye

I like,
Where we are,
When we drive in your car.
I like where we are...here.

Cause our lips can touch,
And our cheeks can brush.
Our lips can touch...here.

When you are the one, the one that lies close to me.
Whispers "Hello, I've missed you quite terribly."
I fell in love, in love with you suddenly.
That there's no place else I could be but here in your arms.

I like where you sleep when you sleep next to me.
I like where you sleep...Here.

Our lips can touch and our cheeks can brush.
Our lips can touch...here.

When you are the one, the one that lies close to me.
Whispers "Hello, I've missed you quite terribly."
I fell in love, in love with you suddenly.
That there's no place else I could be but here in your arms.

Our lips can touch...Our lips can touch...here.

When you are the one, the one that lies close to me.
Whispers "Hello, I’ve missed you quite terribly."
I fell in love, in love with you suddenly.
That there's no place else I could be but here in your arms.

When you are the one, the one that lies close to me.
Whispers "Hello, I´ve missed you, I've missed you."
I fell in love, in love with you suddenly.
That there's no place else I could be but here in your arms
Here in your arms
Here in your arms

Unintended Vacation

I slept through both my classes today. I feel really guilty. I am sick, I am worn out from being sick. I am tired from being sick. About an hour after I get up, I feel like going back to bed again. I am a complainer. I need a hug.

My, my

How time flies!!! It's almost March already. Then it will be April! And then the last week of school in the beginning of May! And then I'll be done with my first year of college! This scares me. If the first year, when I was trying to figure things out, went so quickly, how fast are the other three years when I *know what I'm doing* going to go? Augh. I'm not sure if I'm ready to grow up. Actually, yes, I definitely am.

I love babies. (see above picture)

And a good time was had by all

Ooooohhhhh.... (to be sung to some sort of version of the tune of Old McDonald)

There was once a big white van
E-I-E-I-O
It traveled all over big San Fran
E-I-E-I-O
And there was a stellar view
A curvy street
And prostitutes too
Yay for good Chinese food
E-I-E-I-O


People filled this grand white van
E-I-E-I-O
It was driven by a very cool man
E-I-E-I-O
We saw some old ladies who we thought were twins
We lusted after crepes with bananas in them
Yay for good clam chowder
E-I-E-I-O

Then this Van took a trip to the beach
E-I-E-I-O
With the cutest little baby you ever did see
E-I-E-I-O
We juggled hot coals in our bare hands
Pushed people over in very cold sand
Yay for double-stuff Oreo's
E-I-E-I-O

That night we had a special treat
E-I-E-I-O
Marshmallows flung at our mouths and feet
E-I-E-I-O
We ripped up phone books like Arnold would
Talked about pysch down in da hood
Yay for low-fat cheese puffs
E-I-E-I-O

Maybe Valentine's Day Isn't So Bad After All

So far today (it's 10 am) I've gotten a lovely card, three valentines, two tatoos (stick on ones of course), little hearts that spell out "Happy Valentine's Day" taped to my door along with a poem, muddy buddies, kisses (chocolate), and a bag full of goodies. =) And the day's not even half done!

Here's the poem my Jenny wrote for me:

"The apple of my eye! Oh, how your flashing eyes sparkle like a diamond-lit sky, pulling in the light-encased universe, sucking me into the black hole of your irresistable existence."


Maybe I don't a need a boy to make me happy. Maybe I just need friends...

Ohhhh....THAT explains it

What happens when you visit a house that has had sickness in it?



You get sick.


I feel gross.

Who was yours?

This week at module meeting, since it's Valentine's Day this week, we each told the story of our first crush. Mine was a boy I had known for most of my life. Our moms were friends, our sisters were friends. We went to the library together every week, we played at Taco Bell afterwards together. We played war. We played with American Girl dolls (I think). We played house. We swung, we ran, we buried a poor dead bug. We had some of the most glorious summer days together. And one day, in my backyard on our swingset monkeybars, he kissed me. On the forehead. I probably thought we were going to get married. Ah, how life changes. =)


Anyone willing to share their story?

This is just my opinion...

I am tired of having opinions. Of having the pressure to have an opinion about everything. I feel guilty when I have to respond, "Actually, I don't really care" to something someone has said because they obviously feel very strongly about it. Well, I don't mean that in a callous way, but just having to admit that I have zero knowledge on a subject is sort of humbling for me. I feel a lot of pressure here to have an opinion on everything--war, women's role in the church, the infallibility of the Bible, drugs, alcohol, politics, different worship styles, what John Milton means in Paradise Lost, the list goes on and on. Some things I don't have an opinion on because I know nothing about them, others I just don't understand and don't have an answer for.

I am a paradox.

I am tired of not having opinions. Having an opinion on every subject means you know who you are and what you stand for. You can converse intelligently on anything anyone discusses because you believe in one side of it and feel strongly about that. I like the idea of having my life in neat little categories--War-peace is better, women's role in the church-shut up, sit down (I don't really think that, I'm just illustrating a point), the infallibility of the Bible-God wrote it, I believe it...etc.

I've been exposed to so many different points of view since I've been and some of them directly contradict what I've thought my whole life. I want a reason why I should believe what I've always been taught, and the reasons that have been provided for me? Honestly, they often aren't good enough. Not in the sense that they are inferior, but in the sense that they feel like "Because I said so"s. It frustrates me that people who believe so strongly about the way they are doing things can't even seem to provid valid reasons for some of what they do.

Last night, at the Interfaith Scholar Covention, one of the speakers said, "Well, you DO know that Daniel [of the Bible] probably didn't exist." My poor little shaky world was once again rocked. What do you mean, Daniel never existed? All the stories, all the examples that were so much more meaningful when you knew it happened to a real person are crushed, pulverized into little bits of confusion and ignorance.

Who knew that going to a Christian college could be so hard on your faith?

Well, that didn't last long...

Well, my positive outlook on life actually lasted a whole week! I'm back into my weary-all-the-time, brain-struggling-to-function, what-am-I-doing-here phase. Maybe you could pray for me? I need energy so I can actually enjoy daily life. Ugh.

Oh How I Love FPU

Last night, at about 11:15, I was in my pajamas with my teeth brushed, getting ready to wash my face and congratulating myself on getting to bed at a decent time. I did have 8:00 class this morning, after all. Then the fire alarm went off. Standard procedure when that happens: Grab the list of people on the floor, exit the building, meet in the ampitheater. So we all had to go outside, in our various stages of sleep and dress, and wait outside until it was "safe" to go back in. When I asked a campus safety officer if it was a "fluke" (for lack of a better word) he tersely responded that it was definitely NOT a fluke. okay, just a question! We finally got back in at about 11:45, at which point I jotted down my pyschology paper because I was no longer sleepy after running around campus barefoot. Ah well. Life goes on. =) I love my school!


P.S. We're still not sure why the alarm went off.

Captivating

So for our dorm "Bible study" we are going to be reading through the book "Captivating" by John and Stasi Eldredge. I read--well, rather skimmed--through most of it this morning and I really enjoyed it. Learning that God thinks I am beautiful and loves me in a far-from-platonic way is really refreshing. I also learned that it's all right to love God in the way that I know how to love, and that His love for me is passionate, neverending, and relentless. I think that I replaced just simply loving Him with the pressure of reading my Bible daily. Don't get me wrong, I think that daily reading is essential and I need to actually do that, but I was feeling guilty because I saw my negligence of His Word as a sign that I didn't love Him. Again, I really need to do better about reading my Bible because you need to get to know someone in order to truly love them.

On a different topic, I've also been pondering the fact that I can call myself a woman. Some days I feel very much like one; other days, I feel like I'm five. Not in the sense that I feel insignificant, but in the fact that I am crazy and really just enjoy running around barefoot. I suppose I can legitimately call myself a woman physically(heck, physically I've been able to call myself a woman since I was 10), but I'm still working on actually being a woman in every sense of the word. Who knows what that actually means, but whatever.

I need a back rub.

Welcome(back)

Some days I am excited for life. I am excited that I am young and have my whole life in front of me. I am excited to see what kind of path God will lead me down. I am excited to see what job I will have when I graduate from college. I am excited for the man that God will lead me to. I am excited for the friends I will make. I am excited for tomorrow.


I wish every day could be like this one.