No, I was not tagged

But I'm going to list 25 random things about myself anyway.

1. I actually don't really like blogging all that much. I like the idea of it, but I'm terrible at actually keeping it updated. I figured out that the reason for this is because I cringe at the idea of actually putting anything remotely personal on the internet for everyone to read and I know that some of the issues that I would be trying to vent about or whatever would involve in some way or another people that read my blog. So now I just keep it short and sweet.

2. My mom is one of my best friends ever. Maybe it's lame to have your mom as your best friend, but I don't really care. She's a friend that actually cares about me and makes sacrifices for me. And we can talk about *almost* anything.

3. I have been dying to go to the zoo for over a year now. I found out, after we had stopped going, that I really really like the zoo. And I think I would appreciate it more now that I'm older. Except, of course, for the petting zoo. I hate petting zoos.

4. I keep looking up places to transfer. Maybe I'm just a flake, maybe I'm completely unmotivated, but part of me just really wants to get out of California. Of course, there are reasons behind that too, but see #1 as far as personal things go. :) I am restless. I want to wander and be free.

5. I want to live on a large piece of land in a old house. This land would preferrably have a small stream, some woods, open land on which to ride quads on, a place to have a garden, large trees to hang rope swings, and a house big enough to hold a lot of children.

6. My two dream jobs after graduating college? Nanny and assistant to a wedding planner. Lofty dreams, I know.

7. I hate being a messy person. I can't help being messy, but then it makes me depressed and tired. So I try to not be messy. And then I'm messy again. It's a vicious cycle.

8. I thirst for adventure. I want so badly to drop out of school and live free and unhindered with a best friend or two for a couple years and then settle down. But with freedom in my blood, who knows whether I'd ever be able to calm down again?

9. I feel guilty often. Most often for things I can't control and for reasons I can't explain. If someone is angry or upset, I feel guilty. If something doesn't go right for someone, I feel guilty. I think it's some sort of responsibility complex, but all I know is that it's exhausting.

10. I can't make small talk for the life of me. I am terrible at it. If I could just jump into a serious conversation with someone about life and related things, then I would be okay. But it's this meaningless chatter that makes me awkward and uncomfortable.

11. I really miss playing sports now that I'm in college.

12. I wish Joanna lived in California and not Illinois. I miss her a lot.

13. I have grand plans for my life and for my summer and I really really want them to work out. It might make my life feel a little more in place than it has been feeling.

14. I really need to let God take control of my life. And actually take control, not just watch me screw everything up.

15. I should be less emo-sounding. Because I'm really not emo. :) See?

16. I like to think I have good fashion sense. I give fashion advice to my sisters and to some of my friends. And yet, for some reason, I have never made it on America's Next Top Model. Weird.

17. I don't have nearly as low of self-esteem as I pretend to. I like the way I look. I just like to say that I think I'm ugly so I don't sound egotistical. But here I am, coming out of the self-deprecating closet, saying, "I like myself. And I mean that in the most humble way possible."

18. I really want a baby. I know I have to wait for a husband and all that, and don't worry, I'm not going to be going around stealing anybody's baby, but I want a baby. Just not right now while I'm school. So I guess I don't really want one right now, but I will say that I'm super excited for when I can actually have one of my own.

19. I think it would tons of fun to open up a small cafe/bakery someday. Probably more work than I expect, but the idea is fun. Right?

20. I. Love. Christmas. I love Christmas more than any other holiday. Except I don't really care that much about the day. I just love the season. The trees, the lights, the eggnog, the holiday spirit, I am in love with it all. I don't love the consumerism, the spending, the greediness. I plan on changing that for me and my family.

21. I can talk a lot. And really fast.

22. If I could be anyone else in the entire world, I would be Anne of Green Gables. I love those books and those movies. Favorites for sure.

23. I don't really like religion or church right now. I love God and Jesus and I'm really trying to further my relationship with Him and live my life as His disciple, but church and religion? Not so great for me right now.

24. I never wear jewelry. I don't really like it. And I always forget. And then if I do have a piece that I like, it's usually cheap and turns my skin green. So I just never wear jewelry. It's part of my life plan that involves simplifying myself. Now I wear way less makeup, no jewelry, and just scrunch my hair and go. It's much faster and easier, trust me.

25. Someday, I want to write a novel. I feel like if I got a stellar story line to just fall into my lap, I'd have a much easier time of it. But that hasn't happened, so here I am. Just writing little lists on my blog and dreaming of better days.